The mysterious or free-spirited plumber.

“A puddle has flowed again. We should probably still call a plumber. Especially since the owner of the house, Eyal, gave a phone, his name is Shiman.” – I suggested.

“Yes, he’s just calling himself.” – added the son.

“Shalom, Noam! What are your problems with the plumbing? Can I drive up tomorrow morning and fix them?” – asked the Israeli.

“No, we will be at work since morning. In the afternoon, by four o’clock, can you?” – answered the son.

“But, at this time, I have a drug deal popping up on the horizon.” – the man objected.

“Well, we’ll try to be home early, by three o’clock. Will it work?” – the son summed up.


And exactly at three o’clock the next day, the red old Honda stopped with noise at the entrance to our yechida (apartment).

“It looks like this is the plumber.” – Noam said, seeing that a thin, short Israeli of about 45 years old with curly blond shoulder-length hair and big crazy brown eyes is approaching us with a quick step, with sharp movements characteristic of a drug addict.

“Hi, guys!” – he greeted us and immediately called back the owner of the house.

“Shalom, Eyal, I’m in the cuties’ apartment. Yes, of course, well, everything will be done in the best possible way.” – he said and added to us:

“Eyal said that next time, for this kind of problem, call me directly, bypassing him.”

A few hours later, my son and I, satisfied with the order put in the apartment, went to bed.

The sound of dripping water woke me up.

“It looks like it’s leaking somewhere. We should look. Yes, again in the same place in the bathroom, the hose near the toilet is leaking. It’s 2 o’clock in the morning.

Well, I hope the puddle won’t be too big until morning, I don’t want to wake anyone up.” – I thought.

“I can’t sleep… What time is it? It’s three? Wow, judging by the sound, it looks like a flood is starting in the bathroom.

Yes, the water is already pouring and the bathroom is full of water.” – I stated.

“Noam, Noam, wake up, we should call Eyal as soon as possible, ask him how to turn off the water here, otherwise soon all our things will swim around the apartment like fish.” – I woke up my son.

“Yeah, not a funny joke. I’m already calling, he prompted me and I found a faucet, that’s it, water no longer flows. It is very inconvenient that Eyal had to be woken up in the middle of the night, but he did not swear. He is amazing. Do you know what he said?

He is in Tel Aviv and he was very interested in why our leak suddenly gained momentum at exactly three in the morning.

He began to analyze and remembered that around this time his wife usually gets up and closes herself for a long time in the toilet, where she pours water for fifteen minutes.

Their bathroom is located directly above ours and most likely our water flowed more because of the abundant water drain from above.

He does not understand and he is worried about the thought – what is she doing there?” – said Noam.

“Yes, you and I know firsthand what women do at such an hour in such a place, Noam.” – I added.

“Of course, they witch.” – the son summed up briefly.

At about eight in the morning, we heard a call:

“Shalom, can I drive up to you now to correct my oversight?

Eyal said that everything went wrong and it would be completely wrong for me if I didn’t fix it quickly.” – said the plumber.

“Ok! Come on, come on, come.” – we told him.

A few more days passed after Shiman arrived and replaced the leaking hose.

“Look, Noam, a small puddle in the same place stubbornly continues to flow.” – I told my son.

“I noticed too. I think we still need to call Mr. Shiman and inform him that the problem has not been settled.” – he suggested.

“Shalom, guys! Nonsense, fix it in three minutes, I’ll be with you in half an hour.” – Shiman said.

An hour passed, then a second, we decided to call the Israeli again and again and again … There was no answer …

“Mysterious disappearance, you will not say anything.” – we shrugged.

There was no news from Shiman either four hours later or the next morning, he picked up the phone only in the afternoon of the next day.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” – he said.

We weren’t even surprised that this time needed to be multiplied by 5, we were more surprised by something else, that in addition to Shiman, who arrived in his battered Honda, another young, thick-built guy in a white T-shirt and dark breeches drove up on an old Mitsubishi, who was watching behind every step and movement mysterious plumber.

“Where were you, why didn’t you answer the calls yesterday?” – we asked the multifunctional specialist.

“Yes, guys, I accidentally fell asleep …” – he said in front of the guy and asked him to turn off the water on the street, and when he walked away, he quietly added:

“The situation is serious, I was caught in the last drug deal and put in a refrigerator, where a bunch of meat carcasses hung, and for bad behavior they threatened to transfer me to a freezer, where the end would be close…”

Then the guy returned and Shiman went on with the plumbing problem, interspersing this activity, to our surprise, with a Russian obscenity.

“Bye-bye! Litraot (Goodbye).” – Shiman and the guy finally said and left, sitting on different cars …

“Haya, did you see what happened?” – the son asked.

“What?” – I didn’t understand what he was talking about.

“The guys each got into their car and Shiman said to his obsessive companion: “Go up the alley, there’s the next object, and I’ll catch up with you.”

The guy apparently believed and did so, he did not know that our lane was a dead end, and as soon as he drove off, Shiman’s red Honda rushed in the opposite direction.

Mitsubishi had to drive to the end of the alley to turn around. It is clear that he was no longer able to catch up with the plumber …

A few more days passed and when we went for a walk we met an old red Honda from which a familiar blond head poked out and loudly shouted: “I ran away, I’m free, free, free!”

To be continued…


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